I've been having some very personal problems lately. One I don't feel comfortable telling my diary right now. But, let's just say it's an addiction (not drugs, and no I'm not cutting again) and I'm trying to keep my mind off of it. So, I need something as equal satisfying and will preoccupy me from it. I'm going on a diet. Okay, let me explain.
All I'm going to do is focus on the horrible stuff I eat and get rid of it. And I want to exercise, but I don't know what to do with that though. My friend Nat says to do Yoga, but I doubt my fat ass can do yoga. But, I'll give it a try lol.
I think my addiction is a self esteem problem. I don't think I'm ugly, But I feel like guys think I'm not a good idea after a while cause they were just horny and that's why I was good looking to them. I don't know, all I know is I believe I'll feel better about myself if I lost weight. I know I'm perfectly fine the weight I am, but what's wrong with wanting to feel more fine about it? :)
My inspiration, Bettie Page. Not cause of her career she had or her body. She was strong enough to realize she needed to fix her life and walked away, not caring what people thought to better herself. she died in her 80s a happy family woman cause that was her choice and she made it happen. I want to be strong like her. strong enough to stop something that's only hurting me. I'm going to gain my control back! And that's why I'm going on this diet.
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